2024 wasn’t the year I thought it would be.
I think I lost some of my sparkle.
I thought the word Embody would bring me closer to being my highest self; that I would be the embodiment of myself in my purest, truest form. Confident and glorious.
Very early on, I came up against myself in a big way. A “what if I’m not meant for the things I find purpose in?” kind of conundrum.
I pushed through and got past the self worth hiccup… or so I thought.
Then my mum died and I fell into an existential crisis, followed by a crisis of faith.
The crisis showed me I wasn’t who I thought I was. Or rather, I wasn’t who I thought I wanted to be… and that’s better, because who I wanted to be wasn’t actually ME!
Coming close to the end of the year, I thought I hadn’t succeeded in living up to the word Embody, but I realise now where I went wrong.
I couldn’t fully embody myself if my head was in the future, trying to be a version of me I wasn’t yet. That’s the opposite of alignment.
True embodiment is just being present as you are right now, no matter how you’re feeling.
And, existentialism and all, I did that! I felt what I felt and I allowed myself to be exactly who I was in that very moment:
A woman who just wanted to go back to basics and create from the heart instead of trying to force it.
A woman who needed to grieve the loss of her mother.
A woman who needed to realise she was enough, in each moment.
And I think by doing all of that, I truly succeeded in embodying all that I am.
When we are ourselves in the most present, messiest, and honest way… we are all that we need to be.
My word of the year for 2025 is Nurture and is all the heart chakra vibes. Where I hope to be kinder to myself, and to grow the capacity to serve and love others more.
